Appreciation and thanks

"This world is fast-moving, constantly changing and all-absorbing -- appreciation and thanks have a way of slowing things down." - Ross Levin

Levin has a simple strategy for achieving mindfulness, appreciate what you have and give thanks. In order to be thankful and appreciative, we have to do two important things: get outside ourselves and pay attention to others around us as well as the scenery of our lives.

"To begin to think with purpose is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment." ¾ James Allen

Allen was an early writer in the long tradition of positive thinking. He is still a major figure in this field. He understood the importance of thinking with purpose and intentionality. His voice is a serious challenge to those who drift through life while believing that some form of fate controls their destiny.

Your right to be wrong

"Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life." - David M. Burns

Dr. Burns understands the importance of freedom from judgment. Too much concern over avoiding mistakes sucks the life from us and turns our souring creative impulses into a pile of dead leaves.

self-confidence

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!" - Henry Ford.

The founder of the American automobile assembly line understood the importance of confidence and optimism. What we believe about our hopes and dreams has a profound impact on the likelihood of our success. It is important to help our children build their self-confidence through encouragement and affirmation.

Acceptance

"Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." -- William James

This seems so obvious. What benefit could possibly come as a result of resisting reality? After all, you can go nowhere from where you are not. You can only move forward from the place your standing. To accept your misfortune is to stand on solid ground, the only meaningful starting place for a new tomorrow.

Meditations for Parents in recovery

CONSISTENT DISCIPLINE

No one enjoys scolding children. Those of us, who were severely scolded as children may have done everything, short of taping our mouths shut, to avoid scolding our children. We quickly learned, however, that undisciplined kids are monsters in our midst. Proper discipline is necessary for children's development. In our recovery, we're learning how important it is to give children consistent rules, clear guidelines, and firm limits. We expect them to know right from wrong, so we correct them when they break the rules, go beyond our limits, or disobey our guidelines.

Knowing the importance of good discipline doesn't necessarily make our job any easier. How can we correct their behavior without damaging their self-esteem, enthusiasm, or creativity? Many of us grew up without proper discipline. For some of us that meant rigid rules with abusive punishment. For others it meant loose, inconsistent rules which were randomly enforced with unpredictable punishment.

We want to nurture our children's self-esteem - something our parents didn't consider important. We try to focus our discipline on their misbehavior, and not on their character. "That was a dumb thing to do." Not, "You're dumb because you did it." Our goal it to be consistent, firm, and not wishy-washy. Then our children will respect us without being afraid of us.

I am consistent and firm in my discipline without being physically or emotionally abusive.


This excerpt is from Daily Meditations for Parenting Our Kids by Thomas Wright.

Child's Play

"You can't have real learning with a child unless they are playing. Real playing is how real learning takes place." -- Joseph Chilton Pearce

Play is the most important thing that children do. Children at play are fully engaged. Their imagination flourishes. They are free of all self-consciousness, comparisons and judgment. In this condition, their minds is free to make associations, recognize patterns and explore possibilities.

A Good Listening To

"What your child needs is a good listening to!"

There are two different parts to communication -- talking and listening. Of these, listening is by far the most important as well as the most powerful. A study of interpersonal communication found that most people cannot distinguish between the feeling of being carefully listened to and the feeling of being loved.

Do you see an important clue here for both parents relating to their children?

Daily Meditations for Parenting our Kids

Happiness... whose responsibility

The great German philosopher Immanuel Kant got it right when he wrote, "Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination." Happiness is not based on logic, facts or reason. Happiness is the result of imagination and decision. Happiness is a choice. We can choose to be happy by choosing what we focus our attention on. Attention is a choice, much to the surprise of some. As parents in recovery, we are learning we can no longer blame situations or circumstances for our feelings. We have to step up and manage our feelings without making excuses.

This is a new blog for parents in recovery

We have come a long way in overcoming our codependence and standing up for ourselves since we began our recovery. As we grow in self-confidence we become less defensive when others disagree with us. We speak our truth confidently, even when others challenge us. We learn to carefully consider the views of others without automatically abandoning our own position.

This excerpt is from Daily Meditations for Parenting Our Kids by Thomas Wright.