No one enjoys scolding children. Those of us, who were severely scolded as children may have done everything, short of taping our mouths shut, to avoid scolding our children. We quickly learned, however, that undisciplined kids are monsters in our midst. Proper discipline is necessary for children's development. In our recovery, we're learning how important it is to give children consistent rules, clear guidelines, and firm limits. We expect them to know right from wrong, so we correct them when they break the rules, go beyond our limits, or disobey our guidelines.
Knowing the importance of good discipline doesn't necessarily make our job any easier. How can we correct their behavior without damaging their self-esteem, enthusiasm, or creativity? Many of us grew up without proper discipline. For some of us that meant rigid rules with abusive punishment. For others it meant loose, inconsistent rules which were randomly enforced with unpredictable punishment.
We want to nurture our children's self-esteem - something our parents didn't consider important. We try to focus our discipline on their misbehavior, and not on their character. "That was a dumb thing to do." Not, "You're dumb because you did it." Our goal it to be consistent, firm, and not wishy-washy. Then our children will respect us without being afraid of us.
I am consistent and firm in my discipline without being physically or emotionally abusive.
This excerpt is from Daily Meditations for Parenting Our Kids by Thomas Wright.
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