THE PROBLEM OF AFFLUENCE

"The penalty of affluence is that it cuts one off from the common lot, common experience, and common fellowship. In a sense it outlaws one automatically from one's birthright of membership in the great human family." - Arnold Toynbee

There is a hidden treasure in the current economic crisis. Financial hardship, especially when it is widespread, touching all classes, tends to bring people together in a common spirit. Affluence has an alienating effect, separating the rich from the poor, the affluent from those who struggle to make ends meet. When everyone struggles, we are more inclined to join hands and work together. This community spirit is long overdue in our culture.

LEARNING TO BE ASSERTIVE

"Assertive behavior promotes equality in human relationships, enabling us to act in our own best interests, to stand up for ourselves without undue anxiety, to express honest feelings conformably, to exercise personal rights without denying the rights of others." - Robert Alberti and Michael Emmons

It is important to teach our children to be assertive. To be assertive is not about pushing others around. It is about standing up for yourself. We cannot be with our children at every moment. It is important for them to know how to be assertive, to be able to express themselves and refuse to go along with others when they know it is wrong.

Dignity and Self-Respect

"You are your most important resource. You always carry yourself with you." - Virginia Satir

Virginia Satir, a gifted therapist and teacher, was a champion of self-esteem. She taught that dignity and self-respect were essentials for a responsible and fulfilling life. This is why it is so important to build our children up and never tear them down, not matter how frustrated we may be with their behavior. We must learn to set limits and establish discipline without doing damage to their dignity self-respect.

COURAGE TO SEE

"To look at something as though we had never seen it before requires great courage." -- Henri Matisse

While the famous impressionist artist, Matisse, was talking about seeing the world around him in a new and different light, the same thing in true of parents and their children. Sometimes it takes courage to see our children as unique, individual persons, and not merely extensions of ourselves.

AVOID A FIRST IMPULSE

"By acting on our first impulse, we tend to reinforce the child's behavior patterns, rather than to correct them." - Rudolph Dreikurs

Children are skilled at pushing our buttons. They only use what works. When we respond to our first impulse, we are often playing right into their hands. We must take a moment to think before we respond to our child's misbehavior. Our first impulse is usually a reaction to the situation and not a well thought out response. Mindful parenting requires us to slow down, act with patience and remain calm.

APPRECIATION IS A WONDERFUL THING

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well." -Voltaire

Whenever we express appreciation to others, we recommit ourselves to those same values and principles. Appreciation is a powerful antidote to discouragement, despair and poor self-esteem. Children who feel appreciated by their parents are happier and more productive. They are also more cooperatives and cheerful. As parents it's easy to become so preoccupied with trying to correct our children's behavior that we fail to appreciate them. Make a point to tell your children each day what to appreciate about them. It is not enough to simply know that you appreciate them, is important to tell them.

BRINGING OUT THE BEST

"Loving a child doesn't mean giving in to all his whims: to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult." -- Nadia Boulanger

Boulanger was a famous music educator who taught pupils from all around the world. As a teacher, she was familiar with dealing with things that were difficult. She was highly regarded among her peers as an excellent teacher. In the above quotation she makes a clear distinction between coddling children and loving them, that is bringing out the best in them.